Jolie-Aniston porn  

Posted by onlines in ,

In a porn movie, inspired by their real life rivalry, actresses Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston rip off each others’ clothes in a fight on the red carpet.
Made by porn giant Hustler, the film Untrue Hollywood Stories: Angelina vs. Jennifer has been made with look-alikes of the actresses and is being touted as “every man’s fantasy come to life.”
The movie is due to release soon, and there have been no comments from the actresses so far.

Madonna, Lady Gaga scrap on SNL  

Posted by onlines in ,

A staged - and rather poorly acted - fight between Lady Gaga and Madonna on Saturday Night Live has become an instant YouTube sensation.
The skit featured the two pop stars performing on stage together in similar tight-fitting outfits.
The duo fought in a short scuffle in which Madonna pulled Lady Gaga's hair and the pair tried to strangle each other.
"What's wrong Madonna - can't get into the groove?" asked Lady Gaga.
"What the hell is a disco stick?" replied Madonna. "What kind of a name is Lady Gaga? It sounds like baby food."
The clip has already had 860,000 views since being placed on YouTube on Saturday.
Watch the video below:


Angelina Jolie, a famous unknown?  

Posted by onlines in , ,

Praised or criticised, she is still one of the most famous stars of world cinema, and yet Angelina Jolie doesn't understand why so much fuss is made about her! The beautiful American admits to never reading articles in the press about her, or her family. She doesn't have time, she says "I have to look after my 6 children and my husband (Brad Pitt), I travel a lot, I appear in films, and I've got better things to do than read those rags. People would be better off minding their own business."Clearly, Angelina Jolie believes she is just like any other woman who needs to reconcile her family, love and work. With the help of a legion of nannies, houses all over the world and a very healthy bank account...

Argentina 1-3 Brazil  

Posted by onlines in

Preamble: Remember when England appointed Kevin Keegan because he was the people's choice? Everyone was so optimistic, only a fool would have gone in a different direction. So much to hope for - who knew the man who gave us Liverpool 4-3 Newcastle would end up playing Gareth Southgate in midfield? You couldn't help but feel sorry for Keegan when he quit, admitting he just wasn't good enough in the Wembley toilets. This wasn't how it was meant to end - England were supposed to win Euro 2000 in a blaze of glory, playing a daring and swashbuckling 4-2-4.
I bring the whole sorry episode uup bring it up because I wonder if Argentinian fans feel Diego Maradona may go the same way. The man who inspired them to the 1986 World Cup took over last November but his reign has not exactly been covered in glory. Argentina are in danger of dropping out of the qualification spots for World Cup 2010 and cannot afford to lose to Brazil tonight.
Kick off is at 1.30 and I'll have team news hot off the wires as soon as possible...
Argentina have endured a torrid time of late. A 6-1 defeat in Bolivia was brushed aside because the match was played in altitude but losing 2-0 to Ecuador in June was disastrous. Before tonight's matches, Ecuador were just two points behind Argentina but they lost 2-0 away to Colombia in bad-tempered tussle a couple of hours ago. However that means Colombia are breathing down Argentina's necks, so the pressure's not exactly off.
As for Brazil, despite the unpopularity of their manager, Dunga, they lie top of their qualification group with progression all but assured. Indeed a win tonight and they're on their way to South Africa. How potentially sweet for them if they can severely damage their fiercest rivals tonight.
While we wait for Paraguay's match against Bolivia to end (Paraguay are 1-0 up), why not take in Joel Richards' Maradona's moment of truth.
Teams? Teams:
Argentina: Andujar; Zanetti, Dominguez, Otamendi, Heinze; Maxi, Mascherano, Veron, Datolo; Messi, Tevez. Subs: Carrizo, Papa,Gago, Milito, Schiavi, Coloccini, Aguero.Brazil: Julio Cesar; Maicon, Lucio, Luisao, Andre Santos;Silva, Felipe Melo; Elano, Kaka; Robinho, Luis Fabiano. Subs:Victor, Dani Alves, Miranda, Lucas, Ramires, Julio Baptista,Adriano.Referee: Julian Oscar Ruiz Acosta (Colombia)
1 min: We're off, Brazil getting us underway and kicking from left to right. It's a raucous atmosphere. Brazil immediately give it away and Veron (VERON!) plays Datolo in on the right, whose dangerous centre towards Tevez is just about herded out for a corner which is easily dealt with.
3 min: Deafening whistles from the home fans as Brazil try to take the sting out of the occasion, knocking the ball around casually, only for an Argentina midfielder to plonk Felipe Melo on his backside.
5 min: Brazil have conceded just six goals in qualifying so far, the best record in the group. They'll do well to keep that going tonight.
7 min: Brazil's first piece of concerted pressure outside the Argentina area comes to nothing on the left as Robinho's repeated stepovers get him nowhere and the ball ends up with Maicon in the right-back position...
10 min: It's been a scrappy start with neither side managing a shot on goal yet. Maradona's just come up on my screen for the first time and might I say he's got a very fetching stud in his ear.
11min: Fouls aplenty so far and we haven't seen much from the likes of Messi, Kaka or Robinho yet. Messi finally gets on the ball and sets up a promising situation on Argentina's right, but Tevez is caught in two minds, not knowing whether to shoot or cross and eventually does pretty much nothing.
12 min: Messi's coming into it a little bit now, picking up the ball 30 yards from goal and cracking a thunderous shot not too far wide. It was one of those where you think it might just have gone in on your tv, though the replay will probably show it went miles wide.
13 min: Free-kick to Argentina just outside the area...
14 min:... which Messi sends straight into the wall left-footed. It was made for the right foot of Veron though but would you argue with the little man from Barcelona?
17 min: Messi has Brazil's defence on the run again, jinking and shimmying to the edge of the area. The crowd's noise levels rise but his shot is blocked by Lucio and rebounds harmlessly away. That all came from Elano giving the ball away. 1-0 Mark Hughes.
18 min: A swerving rocket from Veron from 25 yards is blocked by Lucio with his head and the power of the shot sends the big defender sprawling to the ground. Moments later, Lucio pulls back Datolo and is given a yellow card which will rule him out of Brazil's next match - not the best succession for him.
21 min: The foul by Lucio on Datolo wasn't too dissimilar to one by Mascherano on Kaka a few minutes before. Kaka was booked for pointing that out to the referee and then Mascherano does it again - and escapes a booking! Brazil are in a right old funk about it and rightly so.
GOAL! Argentina 0-1 Brazil (Luisao 24 min) What an absolutely atrocious goal for Argentina to concede! Elano delivers a free-kick from around 40 yards out and Luisao, up from the back and in acres of space, has all the time in the world to direct his header into the bottom corner. That is criminal.
25 min: Maradona looks a little bit perplexed on the touchline. Absolutely no one picked up Luisao there. Brazil don't really deserve the lead but if you defend like that at international level, you will get punished. Argentina threaten an equaliser from Veron's low free-kick from the right which somehow squirmed through the crowd to the far post, but no one was there for what would have been an easy tap-in.
27 min: Datolo, making his first start, tries his luck from outside the area. The less said about that the better. The goal has just been replayed again and Luisao had roughly six yards between him and any defenders. It looks like Sebastien Dominguez was meant to be marking him - not the best start for a man making his international debut.
GOAL! (Argentina 0-2 Brazil, Luis Fabiano 29 min) It's all going wrong for Argentina thanks to another Elano free-kick. He lined it up from 30 yards, yet it was deflected through for Kaka who pulled the back for Melo to shoot. Andujar saved well but the lack of any discernible reaction from anyone in blue and white meant Luis Fabiano had the easiest of tasks and Brazil are two up.
34 min: Argentina haven't done too badly. They started briskly and barely allowed Brazil any momentum but somehow find themselves two goals down. Well, I say somehow, but the defending has been inexcusable. Perhaps Argentina should swap those blue stripes for, say, black...
36 min: It's not going terribly well for Datolo, the left winger playing a simple pass straight out of touch.
37 min: Great save from Julio Cesar! A ball over the top finds Tevez who hustles and bustles his way past Luisao, stabbing it across for Maxi Rodriguez whose effort from close range is brilliantly stopped by Cesar and Brazil's lead is preserved.
39 min: "Something of the haunted look about Maradona," says the commentator. He's not wrong. Old Diego must be wondering where it's all gone wrong. Even if Argentina do qualify, it's hard to see them making any sort of impression in South Africa with this defence.
40 min: Argentina haven't let the goal affect them in an attacking sense. They're still probing, their tiny forwards flitting in and around the gigantic Brazil back four. Datolo takes aim from range again, again the shot is skewed wide, but at least he's prepared to have a go. I've seen too many teams (West Ham) hide in these situations.
42 min: Brazil look like scoring every time they get a free-kick. This time Elano delivers from the left and Fabiano's header is brilliantly kept out by Andujar and somehow the rebound evades the waiting attackers. Have Argentina even been practising set pieces?
43 min: Messi is a rare shining light in this Argentina team. He refuses to give up, charging at Brazil over and over again and is building up a head of steam until cynically brought down by Fabiano who now has a booking to go along with his goal. Datolo, Argentina's trigger-happy left winger, slams the free-kick off target (which could mean high or wide, I can't remember which).
45 min: Peep! Peep! Half-time.The referee blows for half-time to call an end to a woeful 45 minutes for Argentina. Maradona needs to summon something from somewhere and maybe hold a quick crash course in defending set pieces.
Darren Holliday in Berlin writes: "Worse-than-Sunday-League marking at the back from Argentina to concede the opener, then the keeper not coming out after the free kick cannoned off the wall towards him just before the second goal...very poor."The English commentator mentioned something about a Brazilian receiving a water bottle from the Argentinian bench in a previous game. The Brazilian player thankfully swigged from it, but then got all tired. They later foundout, or at least suspected, that there was tranquiliser in the water. The commentator failed to mention any more details and a quick Google hunt did not return anything either. Anyone know anything about this?" Afraid I don't Darren, so I'll open the floor to any other insomniacs...
"Are you sitting all alone in GU towers, wishing you didn't draw the short straw?" posits Jon Cummins, who has an alarming gateway into my mind. "Or are you excited, looking to make a name for yourself and knock Rob Smyth off his perch? If so, here's a hint, fake an email from Gary Naylor." Even Gary Naylor has to sleep, Jon.
Half-time emailsRejoice for Darren Holliday because Mahir Ibrahim has an answer. And a surprisingly simple one at that, in the form of a Wikipedia link! Darren, were you being totally honest when you said you Googled this?
Half-time analysis with an ashen-faced Ossie Ardiles To paraphrase, he says there's no way Argentina will sack Maradona after this game because they have a vital match in Paraguay, who are second after beating Bolivia 1-0 tonight, on Wednesday. But lose that match and it could be curtains.
46 min: Maradona has made a substitute during the break, introducing his son-in-law Sergio Aguero for the ineffective Maxi Rodriguez in a bid to save the game. Brazil are unchanged.
47 min: Argentina have begun positively, Andre Santos doing well to head a Heinze cross away under pressure. Then the Brazil defence stands firm, Tevez trying to get a shot through the massed ranks unsuccesfully.
48 min: Argentina have to go for this but are in danger of leaving gaps at the back. Kaka, who has done little, embarks on a lovely run down the middle before releasing Robinho. It looks like he's away from the last Argentina defender and through on goal, only for a superb last-ditch tackle to deny him.
51 min: The crowd are still getting behind Argentina and Tevez's cross to the near post nearly finds Aguero but Cesar just gets there first. A lesson for Argentina there: stop sending high balls into the box. If you stack Messi, Aguero and Tevez on top of each other, they still wouldn't be as tall as Lucio.
53 min: Argentina clear an Elano free-kick! With ease, I might add. Well done boys.
54 min: "If we can bail out struggling banks for the good of the economy, should we not also be able to bail out struggling teams for the good of the World Cup?" asks Paul Creasy. "I'm not too bothered about Ronaldo but it would be disgusting if Messi didn't make it to South Africa, Isthmian League defending or no."
56 min: Argentina are playing attractive tippy-tappy football, right up until a huge Brazilian defender sticks his foot in and boots the ball away. For all their tiny forwards, Argentina's lack of an out and out striker is costing them. That and their inability to defend.
59 min: Here's Wagner Santos from Brazil: "In the 1990 world cup when brazil played Argentina, Argentina was coached by Carlos Billardo, which, putting it lightly, was a bit of a scumbag. In the match between Brazil and Argentina, Branco drank from water that was given by an argentinean physio, as a player was down on the pitch. Branco claims that he started feeling funny, dizzy, and he threw up at halftime in the locker room. (wonder if he drank that same water in his time at Boro). Later, an argentinean physio admited that they always had a "special"bottle of water that they gave to players from the opposing team." Thanks Wagner and to all the others who are emailing in with information on Darren's earlier question.
60 min: Michael Jordan, who needs no introductions, wants to know who I am. "Two questions. 1. Who are you? Not a full time Guardian employee judging by your email address? 2. Who wouldn't love it if Argentina fail to qualify?" I wouldn't, Messi HAS to go to South Africa next year. And no I'm not a Guardian employee, I'm one of their various web monkeys who often works nights.
63 min: There's been a bit of a lull in the action, but it suddenly comes to life, Fabiano rattling a shot inches wide from 20 yards.
GOAL! Argentina 1-2 Brazil (Datolo 65 min) What a superb goal from a man making his first start for Argentina! Datolo's tried his luck from range without any joy so far tonight, but this is a belter. He tiptoes forward until he's 30 yards out before unleashing a simply unstoppable shot with his left foot into the top corner.
GOAL! Argentina 1-3 Brazil (Fabiano 67 min): No sooner had Argentina got themselves back into it, the two goal lead is restored. A delicious ball from Kaka leaves Argentina's defence in tatters and Fabiano strides through before effortlessly dinking the ball over Andujar for his second. Datolo's goal is but a mere memory now.
69 min: Things that make me jealous: Hello Jacob, hope you're having a nice evening," says James McDavid, before going on to highlight exactly why I'm not having a nice evening. "I've been lucky enough to have watched the 1st half of the game in a Madrid bar full of rather dejected looking argentinians and am now huddled round some grimey stream after they shut the bar at half time, crazy spaniards and their distaste for making money. Currently sat with an over excited Brazilian girl who is having trouble seeing the ball! Enjoy the rest of the game." Yeah, whatever.
71 min: This could become a bit humiliating. Two subs combine for Brazil, Dani Alves firing across goal where Ramires just fails to get a touch. At the other end, Messi skips through flailing challenges. He looks set to score but Luisao's block denies him.
72 min: They're 3-1 up but Brazil can't handle Messi. Who can? He darts through once more and the ball is eventually prodded to the substitute Diego Milito who's free on the right. He should have struck it first time, a touch allowing Cesar to race from his goal and save at his feet.
74 min: Andre Santos has a pop. Not a bad effort but Andujar is able to watch it go safely over.
75 min:Dani Alves has a decent attempt from a free-kick roughly thirty yards from goal. It dips and swerves but goes just over. Andujar had it well covered though.
76 min: On comes Adriano for two-goal Luis Fabiano. He looked absolutely terrifying a few years ago, let's hope he can get his career and life back in order.
77 min: "I'm mystified as to why Lisandro Lopez wasn't selected for this game," says Samuel Zakowski. "If you want an out an out striker, he's the one. An absolute beast. He's terrifying. He, Messi and Aguero in a three-pronged attack would tear all teams in South America (well, except Brazil, heh) a new one." Paul Doyle, of this parish, wrote a blog eulogising him last week.
79 min: Can anyone explain the presence of Veron in Argentina's midfield?
80 min: I fear I've given off the impression I'm not enjoying doing this, but I assure you I am. There are worse things to be doing on a Saturday night, as anyone who's been out in Leicester Square will testify.
82 min: "Evening. I know this may seem like ass licking etc but I think your doing quite a good job!" says James Robinson, easily getting himself published. "Just a few points how can a hardcore football country of 40,482,000 people not produce one good defender is beyond me. Secondly why in god's name is Tevez playing? He's a hard worker yes but surely a midfield of Mascherano, Maxi Cambiasso and Messi with Aguero and Milito up front makes more sense and actually has some balance? I know Cambiasso's injured but Gago can fill a role. It looks like a poorly veiled attempt at appeasing the terraces as opposed to putting out a balanced and functional team?"
84 min: Veron is S-L-O-W. Everything goes through him but with all the speed of a man who's gorged his way through a box of bran flakes.
86 min: Argentina are getting nowhere. Why they insist upon sending high balls into the Brazil box is beyond me. I know I've made this point repeatedly but they are tiny and Brazil are huge. This match is all but over now. Brazil, and this is not exactly news, will be going to the World Cup in South Africa. Argentina, and this is news, may not.
87 min: Let's say, for example, Argentina meet England next year. Just how would they cope with the set piece bombardment?
89 min: Brandon Clements says Veron is there because Riquelme isn't, while Rani Haddad expects Maradona to beg Riquelme to return. This game is drifting now.
90 min: Andrew Sachs emails in to ask whether Maradona is wearing foundation. I have to say I wondered this too, but I'm far too professional to ask...
Full time: The referee calls time on a quite wretched night for Argentina. They defended atrociously and although they looked dangerous in attack, too much rested on Messi's shoulders. They now lie two points ahead of Colombia and Ecuador, and have a difficult match against Paraguay on Wednesday. As for Brazil, they were clinical rather than flamboyant, defended exceptionally and deserved the win. Fans don't seem to like Dunga but surely they can't begrudge him victories like this? What better arena for Brazil to confirm their qualification to the World Cup?


Megan Fox: 'I have a mental problem'  

Posted by onlines in , ,

Megan Fox has said that she may have some type of mental disorder and could die young like Marilyn Monroe.
The Jennifer's Body star told Wonderland that she had a "deep-seated interest" in Monroe, of whom she has a tattoo on her arm.
Fox said: "I basically read every book ever written about Marilyn Monroe.
"I could end up like that because I constantly struggle with the idea that I think I'm a borderline personality - or that I have bouts of mild schizophrenia. I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is."
She added: "I don't enjoy being looked at but that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers.
"It's very masochistic - the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable

29/08/2009: Manchester United-Arsenal 2-1 (Premier League)  

Posted by onlines in

Darren Fletcher missed an early chance for United, pulling a shot left of Almunia’s goal after nine minutes. At the other end Arsenal were also creating chances, Andrei Arshavin flashing a shot narrowly over Ben Foster’s bar. Wayne Rooney fired a free-kick off target as the match flowed from end-to-end, before Andrei Arshavin silenced Old Trafford with an unstoppable howitzer into the top corner five minutes from the break. The Gunners were denied a second at the start of the second half as Ben Foster produced a top class save to stop van Persie’s close-range effort. With Fergie’s boys dangling on the ropes Wayne Rooney proved the Reds saviour, Almunia clattered into the forward in the box an from the resulting penalty Rooney drew United level. Six minutes later, and after RVP had hit the bar, the unlikely United comeback was complete as Abou Diaby managed to head a Giggs free-kick into his own net. The match ended in a farce as, after RVP had a 94th minute goal ruled out for offside, ref Mike Dean decided to send off Arsene Wenger who reacted in pantomime fashion by retreating to the United stands.

Serie A champions Inter Milan humiliated 10-man AC Milan 4-0 to emphatically earn the derby spoils on Saturday with new striker Diego Milito in fine f  

Posted by onlines in

Champions Inter Milan took the derby spoils by thrashing rivals AC Milan after Gennaro Gattuso was sent off in bizarre circumstances.
Thiago Motta coolly curled in the first goal on 29 minutes after quick passes from fellow close-season signings Samuel Eto'o and Diego Milito.
Former Genoa frontman Milito then doubled the lead from the penalty spot at a packed San Siro.
Gattuso had hauled down the runaway Eto'o to concede the penalty and the Inter bench, who were initially jumping for joy, reacted furiously when he was only booked.
The Italy midfielder then asked to come off with an injury but substitute Clarence Seedorf was not ready, meaning Gattuso stayed on the pitch long enough to hack down surprise debutant Wesley Sneijder and receive his marching orders.
Young Milan coach Leonardo's horror half was compounded by Inter right back Maicon finishing off another fine one-two move with Argentina's Milito, to make it 3-0 just before the break.
In the second half Leonardo threw on Seedorf, new signing Klaas Jan Huntelaar and Massimo Ambrosini, who started on the bench despite being club captain following the retirement of the watching Paolo Maldini.
But the trio were unable to stem the tide as Dejan Stankovic blasted in a fourth for Inter from long range.



Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

News of the World